I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
