I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
