Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
