so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
