ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize