I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
