I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
