I could have mohawked her pubes.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
