Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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