yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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