she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
