Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
