Already got asked if we're dating
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm sobbing to NWA
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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