omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
