then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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