I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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