I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you didnt know i had herpes?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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