So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
where am i from again
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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