Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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