Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
