Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
