shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
