I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
