she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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