OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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