Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
