i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
