it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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