Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize