no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
