i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
