How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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