Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
