i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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