This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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