Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
