In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
