Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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