I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
