careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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