You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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