Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
