And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
