They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
