that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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