I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
