Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize