but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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