Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Alive.
So much puke
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize