He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
