Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
