She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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