Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
