Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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