I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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