So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
