yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
