Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
