haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
