She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
