even my farts smell like vagina
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
